Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch.

Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000. Now," he concluded, "which group do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

The cavalryman was galloping down the road, rushing to catch up with his regiment.

Suddenly his horse stumbled and pitched him to the ground. Lying in the dirt with a broken leg, terrified of the approaching enemy, the soldier called out: "All you saints in heaven, help me get up on my horse!"

Then, with superhuman effort, he leaped onto the horse's back and fell off the other side. Once again on the ground, he called to the heavens: "All right, just half of you this time!"

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference.

- If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
- If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
- If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
- If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
- If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase "secure the building".

The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters.
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messes up and lands on its tail rotor.

The landing is so hard it breaks off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remains upright on its skids, sliding down the runway, doing 360s.

As the Cobra slides past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this radio exchange takes place:

Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?" Cobra: "I don't know, Tower, we ain't done crashin' yet."

As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step.

Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically: "Do you know they are all out of step except you?" "What?" asked the recruit innocently.

"I said -- they are all out of step except you!" thundered the sergeant. The recruit replied, "Well, sarge, you're in charge -- you tell them!"